


High Hopes

by flailingthroughsanity



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Nostalgia, Pokemon!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 22:17:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9627737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flailingthroughsanity/pseuds/flailingthroughsanity
Summary: He chases after ghosts, grasping for something beyond his reach.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I planned to upload this yesterday, minutes before Woohyun's birthday but lol like always, life disappoints by cutting the network.
> 
> Short and probably sucky but I wanted a bit of angst.
> 
> playlist recommendation:  
> kodaline - high hopes (titular)  
> woohyun - nostalgia  
> U2 - song for someone  
> the tide rose - come home  
> badfinger - baby blue

**HIGH HOPES**  
flailingsanity

* * *

 He chases after ghosts, grasping for something beyond his reach.

* * *

 

The blue waters continue to push against the shore, over and over — coming forward, only to recede — like a cycle that continues without end. There’s a saltiness to the air, and Woohyun closes his eyes and inhales the scent, letting it awash him. Overhead, there are the squawking of Wingulls, circling and flocking.

He lets himself be at peace — lets the calming ebb of the seas lull his veins into a quiet pondering. Beside him, his Altaria croons, in silent peace, perhaps slumbering if he deigns to check.

The view of Jeju’s azure seas, glistening and enchanting, reminds him of an older memory. An older memory for a far younger boy, perhaps a little naïve, a little innocent, a little too fragile for a world unwilling to be kind.

A passing gaggle of Staryu and Starmie trail the shoreline, their calls echoing over to his ears, and he peeks one eye open and watches them return to the sea, disappearing under the waters, dissolving into blue, greens and endlessness.

The seas continue their lovely dance, and Woohyun allows himself a sigh, the leaves above him crinkling in the summer wind.

∞

Woohyun remembers his childhood with a mixture of fondness and longing. There was something wholly charming — intensely nostalgic and magical — about a time of ignorance, when his little mind was still in the clouds, flying past Taillows and Swablus, maybe dreaming for the stars and what lay beyond their reach.

His father used to carry him on his shoulders, his small hands grasping fistfuls of his appa’s hair. They would walk quietly down the sidewalk, a block from their apartment, and although the heavy traffic, and the honking cars, would often make him turn in discomfit, he remembers looking up. His father’s hands holding his five-year old legs securely, and he’d continue to look up, at the big bright moon. In a city as big and as bright as Seoul, the stars had died and only their mother remained, a wilting grey.

He remembers telling his appa that he’ll fly to the moon and he’ll live there, with his Dratini.

 _Just the two of you?_ His father had asked, smiling up at him. _Won’t you guys be lonely?_

Twenty-two year old Woohyun shakes his head just as his younger self in his memory did the same, and he remembers his response.

 _We won’t. Dratini and I will be friends forever_. He had said, shaking his shoulders, moving the small backpack he wore and nestled inside was his Dratini, a well-loved and overly-used stuffed toy from when his mother had given him on his 2nd birthday.

 _Really? That must be nice._ Appa had said, and Woohyun didn’t know why his father had smiled like that, a little smaller, a little sadder. _We’ll be lonely, when you’re not here anymore._

He remembered saying no, and remembered the unpleasantness of the idea of his appa and eomma sad.

_You won’t, appa. You and eomma can live with us on the moon. There’s enough space for us._

Appa had smiled. _That’s good then, Woo. We’ll all live together._

He remembers a hand reaching up, and his father’s pinky. He remembers a smaller one, his own, tangling with his appa’s, promising never to let go.

∞

  
“I’m here, appa.” Woohyun says, to the night air, to the wind blowing against his face. Altaria croons, a little curious, and Woohyun shakes his head. The moon looks closer from this distance, a hundred feet in the air, Altaria leisurely gliding on the lazy currents.

Childhoods disappear, and Woohyun learned to grow up. A pinky promise under the moon can no longer satisfy him.

A part of him is missing.

∞

The screen on his PokeNav lights up, and Woohyun’s still awake enough to see it. For a moment, a lurch of excitement rises and he sits up from the uncomfortable bed. Pokemon Center beds leave a lot to be desired, but they serve their purpose without a cost. A trickle of hope arises in his chest, and Woohyun wants to hope, cautiously or even desperately.

A name flickers and that fragile line withers.

It’s not him.

∞

In a bustling café of downtown Shibuya, Woohyun pulls a seat and settles quietly. Across the table, Howon eyes him critically — and Woohyun knows he doesn’t look well. He’s not sick, and he’s eating just right, but he’s not stellar. He doesn’t look alive.

The gym leader sighs and puts away the paper he was reading a moment ago. A waitress swings by their table and places two cups of coffee and Woohyun smiles, maybe a little, as the scent of cappuccino hits his nostril. His smile fades, recalling a different time — a different person.

“ _What’s this?” He had asked, lifting his head to look at the steaming cup. Across the table, Sunggyu smiled — small, but genuine, a gleam in his eyes. “Coffee?”_

_The other trainer nodded, and Woohyun sat up, reaching for the cup. He held it close, inhaling a warm, earthy fragrance, and a tinge of something faintly reminding him of spice. He brought the cup close, and took a sip and cinnamon and chocolate flared hot and warm throughout his entire body. “Wow, this is good! What is it, because I know it’s not regular coffee.”_

_Sunggyu chuckled, resting his chin atop a closed fist, eyes gazing into Woohyun’s. “Cappuccino.”_

If he angled his gaze, he can make out the faint – almost invisible – steam arising from the cup. He suddenly feels queasy.

“What’s up?” He asks instead, looking back to Howon but not making eye-contact. He’s known the other for some time, and Woohyun may even consider him a close friend, but lately he hasn’t been in the mood for friends. He hasn’t been in the mood for companionship in a really long while.

The gym leader frowns. “Can’t I meet up with a friend without an agenda?”

In another time, Woohyun might have smiled at the rare moment openness the normally taciturn dark-type gym leader displayed, but he doesn’t know how to respond to Howon’s honesty and he remains silent.

Howon sighs, looks around for a bit before turning back to him. “I know you miss him, and I know he misses you too—“

Woohyun looks up. “You talked to him?”

Hope wells up, and Woohyun wonders where even gets it anymore.

Howon looks at him, and he can imagine the delicate flash of happiness on his face, before he shakes his head and Woohyun slumps in his seat.

“I haven’t talked to him in a long time. In fact…I also kind of wanted to know if you talked to him, too.”

Woohyun looks away, hurt and sadness and emotions that he doesn’t want to label rearing their ugly heads at him. He bites out, bitterly. “I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. You’re his best friend. I’m just…I’m just someone else he knows.”

“You don’t believe that,” Howon says. “You know you were more than that. You were important to him.”

 _Were_. How could a simple world ever describe the sleepless nights, looking up — hoping, praying, wishing? Woohyun doesn’t want to hear any of it.

He stands, ignores the cups, and Howon’s surprise. “Woohyun, you don’t have to go.”

But Woohyun is adamant, and even if Howon was a friend, he doesn’t want to see or hear the gym leader right now. He walks out of the café, and before Howon could finish paying for the untouched drinks and chase after him, Woohyun had climbed atop Altaria and flew away.

∞

Busan was honestly the last place on all of Earth that Woohyun wanted to be in, but like weary seafarers lured by a siren’s call, his feet touched ground and he looks over the city in the distance — sees the tall steel buildings, the tufts of trees in between the blocks and endless sea.

Memories, both good and bad, flock his thoughts and he looks away, vainly trying to distract himself.

_“Hey!” Woohyun shouted, both in surprise and annoyance, as Sunggyu’s Lapras swam past him, a little wave hitting him in the face. He combed his hair back, glaring as Lapras turned and swam back to him, in a more leisurely pace now, and Sunggyu’s grin greeted him._

_Dark eyes shined and Woohyun tried hard in holding on to his annoyance._

_“Hi there,” Sunggyu said, and Woohyun liked the way the sunlight painted his pale skin a golden glow._

_“Jerk.” Woohyun responded, reaching a hand up and grasping Sunggyu’s outstretched arm, hoisting himself up on Lapras. The water-type hummed, easily accommodating Woohyun’s added weight before she slowly took off, letting the currents bring her around._

_Woohyun had his arms wrapped around Sunggyu’s frame, locking his wrists and resting them on Sunggyu’s lap, absent-mindedly playing with the hem of the other trainer’s board shorts._

_“This is nice.” He whispered, unknowingly, face resting against the expanse of Sunggyu’s back and if he angled his ear right enough, he’s sure he can hear the other’s heartbeat — a steady cadence, drumming on and Woohyun breathes, feeling content and at peace._

_“Yeah, it is.” Sunggyu agrees, leaning back and Woohyun unlocks his arms to hold on to Sunggyu’s, letting the air dry them out, the squawking of flying-types overhead and Lapras’ melodic call painting the silence._

_Across the horizon, the sun sets and the azure seas glow a fiery gold._

Woohyun swallows, finding it difficult to make it past the heaviness in his throat and on his chest. He turns to Altaria and climbs on top of her again, and she whimpers — concerned for her trainer and his penchant sadness — obeying his desire for flight.

Woohyun shouldn’t have come back.

∞

He’s in Seoul, walking down the busy streets, minuscule amidst the skyscrapers that reach for the stars. His hands are in his pocket, his head is down, and Woohyun blends into the crowd — just another face, another person, another shadow.  Around him, chatter continues; the occasional honking of the car, a curse or two but Woohyun is silent and alone, trapped in memories as each block and door remind him of one or another, an easy smile, a teasing grin and eyes glowing in humor and fondness.

He pauses, on the edge of the pavement, and he looks across. There is a small building, unlike the steel contraptions surrounding it. Its traditional, ancient façade is in stark contrast to the modernized giants but Woohyun stops breathing.

He sees it and sees himself, a year younger, and memories a bit brighter.

 

_“What about this one?” Woohyun turns and looks at Sunggyu, holding up a Gyarados doll. He frowns. “I think you’re taking your water-type trainer thing a little too seriously. Myungsoo is four, he’ll cry himself out seeing that.”_

_“It’s not that bad, and I don’t take my water-type trainer thing too seriously.”_

_He raises a brow, and Sunggyu looks away, pouting. Woohyun doesn’t tell him how adorable he looks._

_He turns his gaze back to the dolls, all hand-made, lovingly and carefully. The old lady behind the counter continues to smile at them, looking at her own creations with faint pride._

_“What about this one?” Woohyun turns to Sunggyu, and sighs (again)._

_“What made you think a Gengar is any better to a Gyarados?”_

_Sunggyu shrugs, and places the Gengar doll back on its shelf._

_They spend another hour in the shop, looking through a series of Plusle and Minun and the occasional bug-type that gives Woohyun the creeps. They end up buying a Pichu doll for Sunggyu’s brother, and the old lady smiles at them gratefully, wrapping the doll in a paper bag with tender hands. They leave the store, walking down wooden steps and standing under the awning made of maple instead of steel, thinking about where to go next. Sunggyu runs back to the store, saying something about forgetting something._

_Woohyun shrugs, turns to look at the streets before them and peeks at a Meowth rummaging through a steel bin. He frowns, wants to look through his bag for a spare Pokeblock or other when Sunggyu returns, panting a little. When he turns to the other trainer, Woohyun finds a paper bag thrust into his hands._

_He carefully opens the bag and finds a Dratini doll looking back at him, purple eyes and cerulean blue patchwork. Beautiful and perfect._

_Woohyun looks up to a red-faced Sunggyu._

He walks away from the storefront, head once again down, shoulders slumped.

Seoul is busy during the days past winter, just when heat starts to return.  Throngs of people walk past him, in groups, chatting and laughing and smiling. He pushes by them, unseeing.

He’s starting to believe this was all a mistake. He’s been chasing after ghosts, grasping for something far beyond his reach. Perhaps some things are just not meant to be, he thinks. Who knows where Sunggyu is? Who knows if the man even cares about him now, walking under Seoul’s sunlight, cold and lonely? Sunggyu was an adventurer, eyes always forward. He wouldn’t cling to old memories, and maybe Woohyun was just a relic of his past.

A grunt, impact, and he turns a bit, sees brown hair and a tall frame and he _hopes_ -

“Watch it.”

“...oh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

It’s an apology for things he doesn’t know, and Woohyun watches the man pass by and maybe, this was a stupid choice all along.

∞

 

He walks past a pair of friends, and their loud voices reach his ears.

“You just gotta keep faith,” the girl says, smiling to her friend. “he’ll come around. He loves you.”

He goes on walking, wishing he could believe such things.

∞

He stands before the house, empty and cold, in the quiet lanes of Jeonju and Woohyun breathes, exhaustion pulling at his seams. He’s walked so long, searched for so long and he comes to this place - to _his_ home, and Woohyun holds the knob, terrified of opening it and finding nothing.

Another heartbreak.

Another failure.

He doesn’t know how much more he can take.

Woohyun lets go of the knob, knowing deep inside his hopes will be dashed. He steps back and walks away, world’s gravity on his shoulders and he feels lost - a survivor at sea, in the tumult of a storm - and he’s ready to accept.

He’s ready to accept that Sunggyu was gone.

Woohyun lost him, and maybe - just maybe - he never had the other in the first place.

∞

The bus station is empty, and Woohyun sits on a bench. His hands hover above the Pokeballs tied to his belt and he caresses them softly, an unspoken apology for another fruitless search. He leans his head back, rests it against the concrete.

Words greet his gaze, decrepit paint dashed in graffiti and vandals. He skims over them, not really seeing the words for what they are. They zero in on something, painted delicately - carefully.

 _Return to the beginning_.

He sits up, and he pauses.

He looks back to the words, and he blinks - unable to find them. He doesn’t know if exhaustion, or sorrow, had finally caught up to him but dare he hope one more time? Dare he pray?

That, all along, maybe - just maybe, Sunggyu was still in his grasp?

The bus arrives, and he thinks about where it all began, in a clearing in a forest just outside his home.

∞

Altaria croons again, returning to her ball without complaint. Woohyun places the ball back on its rest by his belt and he stands, quietly, uncomprehending as the man before him turns.

_He’s tall, with tufts of brown hair, and small eyes - features far too fine to be common, and he is handsome, but his handsomeness tinges on the edge of beauty that is far too rare to be appreciated. He smiles, holds out a Pokeball and asks in a honeyed voice._

“Care to battle?”

As if they just met.

As if they were merely strangers.

As if Woohyun hadn’t searched every nook, every cranny and every rumour for him in the last two years.

Sunggyu’s outstretched arm falters, and his smile grows small and hot boiling rage sears itself alive in Woohyun.

“I looked for you.” He says, whispers, heartbreak and rage and longing and every night Woohyun had spent awake, tears pooling at the edge, all boiling up in a dark, sharp tone. Sunggyu doesn’t look away, simply stands with his arms by his sides.

“Woohyun.”

“Fuck you.” He answers. “Fuck you, Sunggyu. I searched for you, for two fucking years and you - gone, you just left! Without a goodbye, without, without - why?”

He can’t even get the words out right, all clashing to tumble out of his lips as fast as possible. He hates it, hates the feeling of appearing so weak and hurt in front of the other trainer, Sunggyu breathing calmly, and why does he have to go through this? Why him?

“I had to.” Sunggyu answers, straight and unashamedly. “I had to, I was holding you back - from your career, your dreams, everything you wanted to do.”

“What?”

Sunggyu laughs, bitterly. “I was set on my goal, Woohyun. I would be a trainer, then become a gym leader here. You were meant for more than that - a life with me wouldn’t have  given you that opportunity. You’re destined for more than this place. Would you ever be satisfied with being an Elite Trainer only? I know you, and I know you’ll never be satisfied with just being that - one league position for the rest of your life.”

Woohyun stares, disbelief lancing through him.

“I can’t believe you.” Woohyun’s voice is hoarse but he doesn’t relent. “You couldn’t have talked to me? You had to take the easy way out and leave me and you thought it was for the best?”

“Yes,” Sunggyu answers. “even if it hurt, it was for the best. I’d stand by--”

Woohyun crosses the distance and punches Sunggyu.

The trainer looks surprised more than hurt, but Woohyun doesn’t stop. He grabs the other’s arms and pulls him close, seeking the other’s lips. He kisses Sunggyu fiercely, desperately and finally learns to breathe again, inhaling cedar and Sunggyu.

He pulls away.

“And if you think of running away, then let me run away with you too.”

∞

And sometimes, people are just meant to be.


End file.
